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Chapter 3 By Punkerslut
With the camera looking at the sun, everything slowly darkens as it becomes night... The camera then brings them to downtown, where Lily and Spike are walking down the street. Spike is holding a bottle of Jagermeister, while both of them can barely stand up straight, and are leaning on each other for support. Kevin is carrying a six pack of tall cans underneath his arm, drinking one of them. Freak is drinking one of the tall cans. A tall, big gutter punk, aged 35, named Tank, is drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels and walking side by side with the couple of Spike and Lily. Gunner is walking drinking a tall can and Rat is next to him, drinking from a plastic cup with tequila in it. TANK: Ah, nice warm Jack Daniels... It's almost like it's going directly into my veins. KEVIN: You want a cold beer instead? TANK: Nah, beer doesn't do anything to me, except make me piss a lot. Lily (holding Spike and talking to him): You know what I love about you? SPIKE: I'm a nice guy? LILY: Perfect. Spike kisses her on the head. TANK: Man, I got in a fight with this housey a week ago. You know those fights where you keep punching the guy in the face, the throat, and the stomach, and you just... wear yourself out. You took one or two scratches, but you're just pummeling this guy. And then you stop to take a breather and wonder, why can't I have a gun surgically implanted into my hand? Why not? GUNNER: Fucking housies, man. What the fuck... If I wanted to be homeless and eat concrete, alcoholic concrete, I would have no self respect. Gunner crushes his currently empty beer can and throws it on the ground, producing another from his trench coat. GUNNER: Fucking housies... KEVIN: Really, man... At home they drive SUVs and work at Burger King. But then they can think they're one of us? I mean, it's one thing if you like this way of life and go with it entirely, but it's another when you still live in a house and try to hang out with us. And no, I don't want your fucking cheap liquor, or your fucking hard luck story. TANK: I would take cheap liquor if it means I have to hear someone talk. Like fifteen seconds of moaning and complaining per shot of vodka. SPIKE: Dude, to get drunk, that's like an hour and a half. GUNNER: Come on, Tank's a lightweight. That's like two shots and he hits the floor. TANK (smiling, jokingly): Fuck you, man. Watch this. They all stop and watch as Tank drinks the rest of his big bottle of whiskey. TANK: Take that, bitch. Tank hands the bottle to Spike. KEVIN: Aawwwww, isn't that nice... it was personalized with his saliva. FREAK: I hate housies as much as anyone else. But I would give my clothes to go home with one and fuck his brains out. GUNNER: You wouldn't actually sleep on his floor, would you!? FREAK: No, I'd leave through the window and find the nearest dumpster to sleep in. GUNNER: Whew, sometimes my faith in you as a squatter blinks. Don't get my heart going now. Rat kills the plastic cup she was drinking from, crushes it, and throws it on the ground. She puts her hand on Gunner's chest with her eyes lowered and starts rubbing him. He puts his head closer to hers. Then she reaches into his coat and pulls out a tall can of beer. GUNNER: Awww, you ripped my heart out... or, the beer that would be going through my heart.... and then through my bladder. RAT: Mmmmmm, still cold. GUNNER: Strange, this trench coat was actually used as a cooler once. RAT: Still is. GUNNER: That's very true. They kiss. And then she takes a shwill from her drink. FREAK: You two are cute. Freak turns around and makes out with Rat for a five second interval. GUNNER: Hey now, let's keep this party moving! Onward! TANK: What is our destination, captain! GUNNER: To boldly go.... to the liquor store. SPIKE: Ar ar! Bring us there, second in command! KEVIN (sarcastically): The ship can't go much further! We need to release cargo! Kevin walks into the bushes where he begins to pee. GUNNER: Hey, is he emptying out his beer cans? TANK: Something like that. Kevin walks back zipping up, still holding the six pack under his arm, which is now a two pack. FREAK: Hey, give me one of those beers. Kevin hands her one. And opens it for her, as it foams over. KEVIN: It's only the gentlemanly thing to do, to open a beer can for a woman, regardless if it's foaming over. FREAK: Awww, your getting it all over my arm... Kevin begins the chug the last beer, while some beer spatters across him. KEVIN: Hey, what the fuck! Kevin whips his can of beer at Freak, not letting go of the can, as beer comes flying out at her. The two fight this way for a little while. RAT: One time in Philadelphia, we were walking down the street drinking, just like this... LILY: And then out came the AA meeting. Muwhahahahahaa.... (Spike joins her in muwhahahaha) RAT: I have no memory of what happened between, but next thing I remember, we were all skinny dipping in this lake. TANK: I remember that happened to me once. Except it was a public bathroom sink, not a lake. KEVIN (laughing): Oh, yeah! I remember that! SPIKE: Nah, wasn't that at the water fountain? TANK: I don't remember that. SPIKE: Damn, who was that I was with.... LILY: Wait, where the hell are we headed again? GUNNER: I 'unno... I think we're lost. TANK: Lost and drunk in downtown! Oh, the terror! RAT (whispering): Gunner, come with me... GUNNER: Anything you say... They kiss as they fall together off the sidewalk onto the grass. KEVIN: We'll fucking see you guys later. FREAK: Cum once for me, Gunner... or Rat. If you think about me, I'll feel it. RAT (smiling and whispering to Gunner): She's a fucking weirdo. GUNNER: Ah, correction. A freak.
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